Tuesday, September 29, 2009

stay-at-home wife?

if you know me personally you probably know that while i like to work hard & get things accomplished i also like to not be technically "working." yes, a paycheck is currently vital for our little family but sometimes i catch myself drifting into la-la land where i get to stay home for no reason other than "i can." i love to think about all the ways i would fill up my days if all my time was free. i know of friends that are able to stay at home while their hubbies go off to work...i envy that kind of freedom. benny is currently going to school to become a teacher but the more i think about it, even after he starts teaching the youth of america i don't think i'd really stop working until/if we decided to have babies & even then who knows financially what situation we would be in {we're YEARS away so who's to say?}. our money would probably be stretched tighter than ever trying to tend to a little one! ben & i joke sometimes about how badly he wants to start working & how desperately i want to stay at home - we're so stereotypical {please note that the man in the picture also has a pot & a hand towel - he's being a happy homemaker too, no sexism here}. god has a funny sense of humor setting things up this way.

i have a friend who always says she thinks she would get so bored if she stayed at home {versus working her life away}. i say: if i stayed home there are a MILLION things i'd love to do. here is just a fraction of the things i would greatly enjoy:
i would have SO much time to be up at lafayette & be in their world. i would have an abundance of opportunities to go up to lunches, offer to tutor, go up after school, volunteer, pick girls up from school. uh. i would LOVE that! it would also give me more time to be involved at southland {our church} or even serve in the community some other way.

a. i have such a long list of projects going right now that i would die to do! to name a few of the biggies: paint the entire house {every wall}, landscape the front & back yard, hang blinds in all our windows, install valences, refinish furniture & fixtures & put them in their specified places, and build & hang shelving in the garage just to name a few.
b. i have so many ideas that i'd like to actually try out. i'd like to learn how to sew specifically. i'd like to make some pillows. i'd like to make some wall art, some window treatments & a craft station. i want to hang the items we already have on the walls {after we paint, which comes in step a.}
c. if i was a home i think that would provide me with even MORE time to think up projects. then things would really get crazy!

freeing up my days would inadvertently free up my nights. many of the things i hope to get done in the evening currently could be done during the day & therefore...free nights! more time for all the above mentioned awesomeness. and additional awesomeness like: early dinner with friends {like megan & rachel}, more dates with my husband benny, more time with family & MORE TRAVELING! how about those perks!?

currently i semi-hate these two chores but if i actually had time to do them & i didn't have to give up valuable time doing something else to work on them i think i would actually enjoy running around town & tiddying up the nest. i actually "cleaned as i went" around the house yesterday. i was encouraged by the ease of it & want to stick with it. it really makes all the big daunting tasks of cleaning seem trivial if they are all broken up with the clean-as-you-go-approach. this post from {young house love} blog about cleaning fed my desire to become an ever-increasing spic & span me.

i would also have the chance to cultivate my culinary skills {or lack there of}. which i'm sure my husband would really appreciate. i like to cook but i do feel less than confident while doing it, especially if i'm trying something new. this new schedule would lend itself to more time in the kitchen trying new things, becoming a baker, becoming a chef, wearing my frilly aprons! i love this notion.

i would love to spend more unhurried time before the lord. i know its my job to find that kind of time no matter my situation but i love the thought of spending a good chunk of my morning out of the porch talking with my creator, not rushed, just quality. i would love to be able to read more, learn new things & spend intentional time with the people i learn the most from!

you get the hint: i could fill up my stay-at-home life with some very useful, purposeful, fun & enjoyable time. i suppose that is enough day-dreaming for today. i know i am where i'm at for a specific reason & i have to be content in that.
if i ever become a stay-at-home wife i'll be sure to tell you all about it {& try not to rub it in}.
{flickr pic linked to owner}


  1. i want to be a stay-at-home wife so badly!!! I mean, I guess I do stay at home, but it takes everything in me to not do little projects around the house when I'm supposed to be working with you instead.

    Oh, Jen. More ways we are alike. :)

  2. i agree with all of the above :)

  3. Here here! I have a passion for sharing with other women how rockin' it is to serve in the home. Jen I don't think it's stereotyped to want to stay at home while your husband works - scripture calls women (working out of the home or not) to be keepers of the home so it's a calling from the Lord on our lives to be hospitible and use our home for service for his Kingdom. I really struggled with thinking I'd feel gratified being a SAHM but you couldn't PAY ME A MILLION DOLLARS not to do what I do - having kids and serving my husband and the church out of my home is the most fulfilling thing I have ever done. Ever.
    And I learn so much every day about how to do better at what I do. It's hard, gratifying, kick butt kingdom work. I'm shepherding the SOUL of my daughter here. Ain't nothin' better.

  4. Jen,
    I had to come comment. I found you through Catherine West's blog. How cool about you and your husband serving for YL. I came to my faith as a 15 year old at Windy Gap on a YL trip. My husband was in involved in OH, while I was involved in CT. I agreed with your response and the way you wrote it was excellent. Made me think. Thanks for that.
    ~ Wendy

  5. brittney & friends-

    i love everything you said although i'm not sure that anyone should encourage me to want to stay home more than i already do! i guess my guilt factor is that i wouldn't be staying home to pour into my kids..i don't have any yet. obviously i would want to be pouring into other people with my time {if i were to stay at home} it just seems uncomfortable to me to be a stay at home wife {not a stay at home mom}. is my dream still legitimate without babies?

    regardless its wishful thinking i just love to hear your all's thoughts!
    <3 jen

  6. I think I might be the friend that says I would get bored! haha Although, Eric and I have had a lot of conversations about me taking a year off of work right after I graduate...but I don't think I'm going to do it. I enjoy what I'm doing too much. I think that is the key! Maybe someday when we have babies we'll stay home. Until then, just think of working as a way that you're serving Ben while he is in school :)

  7. AMEN sister.. AMEN.

    i once told micah "i think i was made to not work a full time job"

  8. Read you blog for the first time today and I think it was meant to be! I just moved to the midwest from Seattle so that my husband could get his PHD at U of M. I work a very busy and stressful job and I find myself on nights and weekends getting bored any lonely. Your post reminded me that now that I have all this spare time, I really need to take advantage of it!! I too would love to stay at home and start a family, but that is still several years off for us. Thanks so much for the great reminder to take advantage of the time I have now!

  9. Jen,

    I admire your ambition to want to create a fabulous home for you and Ben and have a place to let your creative heart reign!!! I have struggled with my desire to be a stay at home mom and the love of my job. I am truly blessed that I have a career that I enjoy! You will figure it all out and find the best spot for you - after all it will be with the Lord's help! Love Ya!

  10. I daydream about this too sometimes. I love my job, but sometimes I think about how wonderful it would be to not have to wake up early everyday and not feel rushed and like there is always more I would do if I had the time. The summer I got married I was in grad school so I wasn't really working,just hanging out at home and doing some "research" for my advisor (did not take me 20 hours a week which was what I was getting paid for) and it was awesome! I hung out with high school girls all day long, went to the pool, cooked, got our apartment organized. It was glorious - I don't think you need kids to stay home.

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