Friday, May 18, 2012

a full heart

my heart and my head have been very full lately.  i feel unbelievably thankful for the place that we're in right now.  we have been so busy.  i know everyone feels that way - but it has really felt like my mind has not stopped going a million miles a minute in a very long time.  i can't finish one task without thinking up twenty more that need immediate attention.  but under my piles of to-do lists i am so happy, so grateful, so content.

working on the house has been hard sometimes.  ben and i don't always get along when we do projects - maybe you can relate.  stressful situations tend to bring out a controlling, overwhelmed and/or selfish side of me.  i know i sound like a gem right?  it's sad but true. because i'm weak and sometimes terrible to be around i've gotten to see a lot of grace from my sweet husband.  that has been such a blessing.  so much of this stage has been awesome.  a huge gift to be able to work together - like a little team.  we've always been a 'team' but i think preparing our lives and home for this little bean has given me a glimpse of what our little family really could be.  i think God has been using these little things to knit us together.  i can only imagine what life will be like with a little princess in the mix.  i'm sure we'll see even uglier sides of ourselves at times but i hope we can use those as opportunities to cover one another in grace.  i pray that we'll be bonded together even tighter as our family grows and time passes.

i've been able to witness an awesome servant's heart in benny.  he's loved me really well even when i'm tired and achey and grumpy.  he's buckled sandals around my fat ankles, helped me take off toe-nail polish and primed more spindley furniture than one man could ever want to prime - just to name a few.  i am really thankful for him, and his heart to help me nest and grow this little baby.  seeing his sweet husband & poppa-to-be character spurs me on all the more to be a loving wife and momma in our home. 

i feel like we've entered into a really sweet spot in our marriage.  maybe its the calm before 'the storm' but i'm so thankful for it.  even if it is just a few blissful months before the poo hits the fan [literally], i'll take it.  i feel like i get to laugh a lot with him.  not that we don't normally have fun together, but i feel like i've been having extra fun, extra deep laughs, feel extra 'in love'.  which is kind of funny because i truly feel like you choose to love your spouse daily - its not just feelings, but i do feel a lot of love right now.  its not the most 'romantic' portion of our marriage necessarily but it is awfully sweet. that's how i feel anyway - i'm not sure if he'd say the same.

i truly cherish this time that we have of preparation, growing and learning together before our little family expands.  these are our last few months as a two-some and i don't want to wish that away.  i want to enjoy every moment with this amazing husband i've been blessed with, soaking it in.  i'm excited for the ways that our lives are going to change - maybe crazy excited - but this little sweet spot of life right now, i'm so grateful.

this picture is 3 or 4 years old but this basically sums up how i feel right now. lovin' it.

1 comment:

  1. So sweet :) I'm really excited to meet baby girl!!


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