4 months

baby emmie is four months old.  time is flying by.  days, weeks and months pass & i just can't keep up.  i feel like i'm going to turn around tomorrow and she'll already be one!  which may be why this crazy mom [yes, i am self-aware] has already purchased some items for her first birthday party.  yes that is real.  hey, they were on sale and totally not extravagant, premature, but not extravagant.  here is a little record of all that's happened in the last month with our little princess bean.

your tiny, pudgy fingers are perfection.  you like to do a lot with your hands.  you stare at them when you're laying on your back, you fold them like you're praying, touch your face and rub your tiny baby eyes, you like to feel along my face and your poppa's scruffy beard.  you like to rub your hand along my shirts and sweaters to feel the different textures and now you grab at things that you want to hold like dolls, rings and toys. you love love love to hold hands.  my favorite is when you're trying to fall asleep and you let your little fingertips tap each other real sweetly.

you're very alert and curious, always checking things out.  this has made eating a little...interesting.  if anything is going on around you, you want to be a part of it.  you hold your head up like a big girl and stare all around.  you follow us around the room even when we're far away.

your reaction when i chant "Ohhh C-A-T-S, CATS! CATS! CATS!

you smile all the time - it is absolutely precious. melts your momma and poppa's heart.  you're giggling a little bit more but still have a gasp as a laugh.  i cannot wait until it is a real hearty laugh.  i'm gonna tickle all kinds of squeals out of you!

speaking of squeals, you have all kinds of words and stories now.  you have super high pitch squeals and loooong grunts [hilarious].  you like to babble a lot and when you're not babbling fake works you move your mouth like you're talking with no sound.

i think i said this a month ago but i swear you are about to roll over from your back to your belly any moment.  you get like thiiiiis close [finger smidge] to flipping and then stop.  your entire body will be on your side and then...you just roll to your back.  you still roll belly to back like it's your job.  you try and sit up constantly.  when you grunt and strain to sit up it is pretty hilarious.  work baby ab muscles, work!  if you take a hold of two fingers you can pull yourself right up and if you start on an incline you can sit up by yourself.

 everyday it looks like you have more, darker hair.  i like to brush it back and make it look all fluffy.

this was a big month for you as an author.  you wrote your first text and your first love note.  yes, she clicked onto the emjois & scrolled to different pages and picked that little creeper face and the mouse-hamster.  i'm so proud.

she also wrote a love note to a friend.  i thought the friend would know who she is by the time i posted this but i just found said love note on my sofa table, so i suppose i forgot to send it.  err, emmie forgot to send it.

 

you've now celebrated your first thanksgiving dinner, i think that you really enjoyed it.  you got to spend the whole weekend with the brzinski's and you love it there.  you especially like to play with nonna mary.  who, by the way, got you a jumperoo.  you were a little overwhelmed at first but after we stuck a book under your feet, you were set to go.  well at least for about 10-15 minutes.

you also decorated your first christmas tree.  we can't wait to teach you all about what christmas is all about.  i'm going to read you the christmas story before bed each night i think.  it that excessive?

my husband and daughter = the most asian, non-asians in existence.  how precious are they?  this is not staged, this is just real life.

you still sleep through the night but we have had a couple hiccups.  you were sleeping until at least 8 every morning until the time change happened.  that should mean that you wake up at 7 every morning, still not bad, no complaints but for about 2 weeks you started waking up earlier and earlier, 6:30, then 6:15,  then 5:30, 5:00am... "OH. NO." was my reaction, this could get real bad.  thankfully we're getting back on track and waking between 7 and 8 has commenced once more.  you go to sleep around 8 or 8:30p most nights these days and that is kind of fun for me and your pop.  we're able to get a little more time together than we used to when you went to bed at 10, which also happens to be your poppa's bedtime.

2.5 months vs. 3.5 months - you're so big!

naps are starting to change a little too and i like it.  you now take a really good morning nap, right after you wake up, and a really good afternoon nap [at least two hours each, sometimes more].  the others are kind of unpredictable but you generally fall asleep between each feeding, i just never know for how long.  you sleep really well in momma's room so i'm contemplating getting you a queen sized fluffy bed with blackout curtains and see what happens.

i didn't really notice that you stopped laying your head on me to cuddle until you started doing it again in the past week or so.  i love when you lay your little head on my shoulder to snuggle.  i think for a little while you just had to work those neck muscles out and for whatever reason this week you were ok with a little down time with momma.  i'm soaking it in because i know it won't be like this always.

you really like toys now.  you play on your activity mat and love all the things that you can bat around.  i surround you with toys [newest addition, mr. crinkle-feet] and you're usually really content.  you love things that you can grab or that make noise.  we've also tried out your bumbo and you seem to enjoy that pretty well!  you're definitely in the stage now where everything you reach for goes in your mouth so i think baby-proofing needs to begin now. 

speaking of baby safety, you had your first fall.  it was literally one of the worst days ever for me [and maybe your dad].  we were about to take you for a walk because it was gorgeous out and i stuck you in your carseat on the couch, as was our custom.  well you weren't all strapped in because that's not necessary for a walk.  poppa was in the room with you but what working on something else and i left you on the couch to go gather my things for our adventure.  a few wiggles toward the end of your carseat and you just flipped yourself right over, face planting on the floor.  one big thud and a "oh shh.." later i rushed in to find you and your poppa both a mess.  you were fine, scared and hurt but fine.  you had a little imprint on your forehead of our hard rug.  i was so scared something would be wrong and i wouldn't know what to do.  you seemed sad and not exactly yourself for a bit.  after a nap sleeping with your poppa you perked right up though.  you were all smiles and giggles which is just what i needed to know you were alright.  it was just the most heart-wrenching 2 hours waiting for that smile.  i felt so guilty.  so so guilty, like the worst mom ever.  needless to say, i don't really leave you anywhere anymore unless you're surrounded by soft things.  i can't relive that.

you watched your first kids' movie, brave.  your poppa loved it because it had a little girl in it.  anything that is about a little girl tugs at his heartstrings now.  just so you know, your poppa used to have a heart of stone before you.  he never tears up, he never has emotions [jk...but seriously] but now, well, let's just say:  he's going to be wrapped around your teeny little fingers.  you giggled at the end which was really cute.

you're in 6 month clothes and are kind of pushing it in those if they have feet.  you still wear a few 3 month things - but i think momma is really stretching it...literally.  you wear size two diapers but are about a pound away from being out of those too.  it has gotten really cold here, really really cold so i've gotten to dress you in lots of sweaters, bundle you in blankets and keep you in socks, which you always seem to wiggle out of.  babies in sweaters are ridiculous, and perfect. 

well hello there cutie pie!

i've taken pictures of you each month in your room in hopes of capturing how you've grown from month to month.  i've planned on putting them on here each time but have continued to default to camera pics because it's so darn easy and picking from 40 pictures instead of 1,000 seems easier.  i hope to post some of your darling little face so very soon.

baby emmie, i think it is probably needless to say but you are just precious to your poppa and i.  i'm really excited about lots of things for your little life.  one being that many of your parents' friends have littles [just like you] that are waiting to be your best friends.  i can't wait to see you all grow up together.  i know there will likely be a time when we embarrass you and you think that we're lame, that you won't want to hangout with us and you'll want some independence from us.  i pray that that time will be brief and that you'll kind of like us even though we're crazy.  someone today also reminded me that we need to be praying for your little heart.  that you'll be brave and courageous, that you'll stand up for what is right, fight for good, love people well.  i hope that even if you have to do that on your own [seemingly] that you'll be faithful and stand firm - even if it's not popular.  i pray that you'd do all that with the Lord's strength and that you'd choose Jesus for yourself.  i pray that you know His goodness and that His love is better than life [psalm 63:3], and most definitely superior to what this world has to offer.  you are a doll and we love watching you grow.  you are a great joy in our home.

4 month check up

we have one happy, healthy little bean on our hands!  i woke baby emmie up from her super sound sleep [so sad] to make it to her appointment on time.  i guess at 2 months when i made this appointment, our schedule was a wee bit different.  she had a terrible nights' sleep last night [not the worst but pretty awful] so that just added to my anxiety.  "she's going to be so fussy when i get her up, she's going to freak out even worse over these shots, our entire lives are ruined" ...and the like ran through my head.  surprise, surprise, she did just fine.  she was smiling ear to ear as we sat in the waiting room.  cooed at the dr. until he messed with her too long and even quickly recovered after her shots.

although i hate every moment of it, i'm so thankful that we are blessed with access to great healthcare for our little one and that those terrible shots are going to keep her big, strong and healthy.

as of today, her 4 month birthday, [ahhhhh!] emmie collins is 25.5" tall [90th percentile] and is 15 pounds and 15 ounces [95th percentile].  my dad's response: "she's the top of her class!"  hahaha that's a good way to look at it.  the doctor looked at her chart and then at me and said "how tall are you?  you're not that tall."  you're right sir, i'm not in the 90th percentile for 27 year old women, i don't know where she gets it.  we also found out that ecb has eczema, so sad.  i had a feeling that she did and with all my crazy skin junk i feel like it was her fate [i have this].  but now i know how to treat hers, so hopefully we'll be on the road to recovery!

i have all kinds of other emmie updates & milestones to record, but those will have to wait until her 4 month 'post'.  you were a champ today little one!  i'm a proud momma.  ps, three people commented on your eye brows today.  you're like a mini brooke shields.  or anthony davis.

ho ho ho merrrrry christmas

you ready for some poor quality, unedited pics full of cheer?  i figured so.  on sunday we filled our house with christmas joy.  ok, we actually only really put up the tree and hung up two stockings but we're on our way.  for some reason when i dug through our decorations not too many struck me this year.  most of them still lay in boxes in the garage.  i guess we'll do some new 'sprucing' this year.  

i really wanted a family picture.  not like a 'perfect' picture but just something sweet of our FIRST christmas trimming the tree together.  i dressed my child up like a christmas elf and put on a headband on her because she's a little ambiguous without it.  unfortunately, her headbands sometimes shuffle around, almost fall off and end up right on top of her head.  then i wait too long and my husband with 'the perfect christmas beard' goes and shaves before i get the camera out. and last but not least, momma is staring at baby in the screen instead of smiling for the camera - go figure.  here is the FIRST christmas tree trimming as a family of three. #babycheeks

 fa la la .. la .. la

happy thanksgiving & the good stuff

over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house we came.  we're celebrating life & giving thanks for our many blessings with benny's sweet family today.  the food is stewing in the next room and i'm more than ready to chow down.  poppa tony has been cooking since last night & ben may have bought 3 different types of eggnog.  yes, i said three.

over the last week we've had so much fun and with this five day weekend we are living. it. up.  we have big plans for snuggles & giggles with em, visits with lots of family and friends, cleaning, maybe a date, a family trip to the museum & getting our abode christmas-ified.

last night we were able to go watch the cats play, which is always a joy.  one of ben's student's parent's [geesh that was the long way around] gave him an early christmas present :: TICKETS!  they know how spoil him!    i miss emmie when we're away but it is really nice to get out of the house and just be able to focus on being besties.

 

and look who we found!!  the ryder's.  what a stinkin' treat!  they live in virginia so you can imagine my surprise to find them in the next section.  it's been too long since we were able to visit.  i spent our brief visit trying to convince them to come back to another longer adventure!

i probably don't need to say it but i am so thankful for my little family.  having a little daughter has been one of the most ridiculous blessings.  how crazy that we're entrusted with this precious little life.  watching her grow into a little person.  ugh!  she has so much personality.  she is adorable.  having a husband to share her with, one of my greatest gifts.  he's such a good poppa and takes incredible care of us both.  they fill my life with so much goodness.

over the past few days emmie and i have gotten to see lots of friends.  we captured a few shots!  lunch dates and girl nights [nail polish fo days...].  seeing friends, those in high school and those who've graduated make me so happy.  we get to witness people becoming who they're going to be for life.  it is pretty crazy.  i'm so thankful for those relationships.

i'm also thankful for our sweet community of friends.  i have some of the most deep and thoughtful friends in the whole world.  thankfully, they are also friends who i can send ridiculous pictures of myself wearing denim on denim, talk about outlet mall trips from a decade ago and convince each other to wear acid washed jeans & butt-cut parts.  i laugh til i cry.  group messaging makes out of town friends seem real close.  i'm so thankful for them, and for that.

happy thanksgiving day all.  i hope, no matter your circumstances, that you can give thanks for our generous Lord who has saved us from much!

"every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."  james 1:17

"give thanks to the LORD, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done."

psalm 105:1

one year ago

this weekend, one year ago, we discovered that our little family was about to grow by one [oh so precious] squish. I can remember all the crazy emotions waiting to find out if it [she] was real. I remember being so ridiculously excited and so unbelievably nervous that I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She was the greatest surprise we could have ever dreamed up.

Little bean, this was your first thanksgiving out in the world, but i'll always think of last thanksgiving [2011] as your first. There's no way I'll ever forget holding you as our little secret on a weekend made to celebrate & give thanks. Also a weekend where we would see nearly every family member and friend we have. We couldn't be more grateful for you, our itty bitty bundle of joy! Thank you for making us parents & for growing our hearts so big, little one. I cannot believe it has already been a year - a year since our lives began to change in the most wonderful way.

sweet dreams

in the past seven days i've had nothing but ridiculous dreams.  to share a few...

[from]

first i dreamt [is that not a word? what is the past tense of dream?  dang it] anyway, i had a dream that i was pregnant again.  like right now, with the same life i currently have.  a three month old, insurance that wouldn't cover a pregnancy, same house, etc.  i just cried and cried and thought about how mad ben was going to be at me.  just to be certain, i made sure that i'm not in real life.  yikes and yowzers!  i love our little bean but two babies within one year - i don't think that's for me.

then last night i had a dream that em and i were out running errands when all of a sudden i looked down and she was standing up on her own!  i screamed and squealed to which she responded by falling on the ground [gracefully i'm sure].  but then she rolled over from her back to her belly [which she's never done] and then said her first words: "piggy tails" three times.  hahahah  what kind of crazy pills am i on?  i'm sure her first words will in fact be in reference to hair since i tell her about a zillion times a day how i can't wait to put bows in her hair and her 'best friends' are her headbands.

Last but not least I had a dream that we had a house full of family and if anyone picked up this certain baby doll in the house it turned into emmie, I woke up in a panic after we had FOUR emmies in the house - traumatic!

ps hardee's commercials make me want to puke.

poppin' in to say 'ellow'

the amount of things i want to document and the amount of things that actually end up on here are not equal.  that is certain.

some things that i'd like to remember + a few pictures of my chunk of a baby mixed in.  here we go.

a few weekends ago i had the pleasure of attending a shower for my sister-in-law-to-be.  i absolutely love morgan and i couldn't be happier that she is going to be part of our family.  for years i've been planning on morgan becoming my sister [maybe even when her and chris weren't dating] so their up-coming marriage is a total joy for ben & i.  the shower was beautiful, full of yummy food, sweet friends and of course, morgan was showered with all kinds of goodies for her and her hubs to start their life together.  seeing her grateful heart as she thanked everyone just made you want to cry.

[not my pic]

 [also not my pic] - aren't they just adorable?

last saturday ben and i got to go on a date.  yes!  a date.  it was just dinner and a stroll around the mall together but that was enough.  it was a dream & i wore a dress, just because no one was going to spit on it [hopefully].  even with the most hellish head cold, it was wonderful & i'm so thankful for it.  i loved getting some alone time with benny.  we both know that its so necessary but it honestly is much harder than i anticipated with a little one, work, ministry & friends.  even if we make the time, it almost hurts to ask our families one. more. time. to watch our little stinker.  i'm thinking that they love to see her but i also know they have lives to live as well and just might want a date with their boo too!  it makes it a little better that she is the most adorable little sumo that there ever was.

 

i've been able to have some fun with our h.s. friends as well, we had a bonfire for lhs, a few lunch & dinner dates sprinkled in, worked homecoming and a banquet for young life in lexington.  i feel a little more like i'm getting my feet under me when it comes to being in the lives of people at lafayette and that brings me a lot of joy.  if there comes a time when we are called away from young life...there will be so much that i miss.

i've had dates with friends my own age too [yes i have friends my own age!] - and it has been good for the soul.  ben and the boys went to a cabin to shoot guns and celebrate a birthday.  while the boys were away all the ladies and their army of minis wandered on down to cracker barrel for early dinner [the most appropriate early dinner location we could find].  we were getting quite a few glances from the early birds as our five babies and seven mamas chowed and chatted.  i'm thinking it was because our babies are so cute and not because we looked like sister wives.

something big [for me] happened last week.  i left emmie with a stranger for the first time.  she went to daycare during my bsf class.  she had a cold [and i'm a little crazy] so i was a tad worried about her.  she was fine of course and next time i'm sure it will be easier.  i didn't cry incase you're wondering buuuut i may have stopped in to check on her once.  before we had e.c.b. i always told my friends and benny to tell me when i'm being crazy.  now that emmie is actually here ben will tell me i'm being over the top and i just don't care.  to quote my dear bestie - i'll be as crazy as i want to be.

this should make your day.  my little brother mentioned that emmie is basically a girl russell from UP.  uhhh, holy crap she totally is.  baahahaha look at how sweet!

i've had a lot of goals go unaccomplished lately.  i'm trying not to be too hard on myself but at the same time attempting to stay motivated & not give up working at it.  a few of my lofty goals [that are simple for most] are to buy healthy food, make lunches and dinners and eat them, clean my disgusting house [deep clean & tidy up - stay on top of it], paint & do crafts [i have several things i'd like to have done at the house], start my christmas shopping / making / planning.  maybe i should take notes from my little lady.  she seems to get a lot done.  ps - she wrapped herself up like the virgin mary while playing on the floor this week, i'll def be stealing the pic from ben's phone to share.

i should be cleaning...

so my days are a little bit of a blur. the majority of the time i look down at the clock around 3:30 and have no idea what I've done with the last 8 hours. one thing i know has not been accomplished - my house is never ever clean. no matter how hard I try it just stays a mess. it's borderline frustrating & the chances that i already have a post [or several] titled 'i should be cleaning' is pretty high if that's any indicator.  so instead of doing something productive (like dishes) i thought i'd just blog instead.

yesterday was halloween and all i did was this...a sweet bib from auntie molly was the extent of dressing up for our three month old. am i a bad mom? i saw that my friend dressed up her puppies and decided yes, yes i am.  it just seemed like work and/or money, it got real cold and let's face it, every house would know that i'm gonna eat her candy if we went trick or treating. i don't need that neighborhood judgement.

we went over to granna and pop's house to see our family and the little cousins all dressed up.  i should have snapped a picture of all of them.  i'm a bad cousin; they were adorable!  we have a yearly tradition of everyone going to my parents to trick or treat and then come back for soup, chili and grill cheeses.  it's wonderful.  me and the bean couldn't stay long because we had a younglife dance party to get to.

[mini cheese]

again, we were a little lame in the costume department.  i was a pizza, if you're my friend you've probably seen my costume and benny had a baby doll strapped to his rear.  he was a baby sitter.  all the kids though were decked out.  it was pretty amazing.  we had an awesome sweaty time with our friends at lhs.

 dj footie pajamas doing his thang.

in other news... this past weekend we were able to celebrate the marriage or two sweet friends. it was beautiful and i'm always so excited to listen to the vows and remember how special and blessed the covenant of marriage is!

i also was thankful to spend a few hours with benny out of the house & baby free. sure I had to pump under a blanket driving around man-o-war but hey, not a bad sacrifice for a date.

i didn't really partake in the raging dance party that followed the ceremony but did get to have great time laughing and catching up with friends.  i love that.  and watching some of our friends dance is for sure just as good as doing it yourself.  they're hilarious.

other fun happenings around the brzinski household...if you follow us on instagram you've likely seen all of these [sorry folks!] follow along - [ jenbrzinski ]

family dinner with the out-of-towners.  benny's aunt, uncle & cousins were in this weekend and we had the pleasure of visiting with them + more over dinner.

will holding emmie.  she loved him [although the picture may not show that].  and no, that's not a medic on site... it's ben's aunt cathy giving assistance but with a cold so she wore a mask to protect the little babe.  how sweet right!?

due to the wedding we had some out-of-town friends in as well.  totally my dream.  since we're all growing up, being adults, getting married etc. some of my best girl friends in the whole world have moved out of our perfect little town.  heartbreaking.  so when they venture back in, it's like all is right with the world.  it was kind of like a PG version of sex and the city breakfasts where just the girls get to go out & catch up over orange juice.  but unlike satc we won't get to do that every week [arg] so i was definitely savoring it.  i should have snapped a pick of my good food & good company.  photographer jenna, where's my reminder?!

emmie has had really interesting sleep habits lately: super long naps, no naps, great nights of sleep and nights with no sleep.  i'm not really sure what to make of it or better yet, how to make it consistent.  and good.  consistently good.  she's getting enough rest overall, i'm not worried about her i just really want her to be on a schedule so in turn, i can be on a schedule.  i'm that girl.

[emmie getting good snuggles with poppa after work.  sleeping with her hands on her face.  hilarious.]

monday was story night at ben's school so it seemed like the perfect opportunity to take emmie up to the school to meet some kids, parents, coworkers and of course visit poppa while he read to littles.  i asked emmie nicely to not get all messy since we were going to work and this is what she did.  neck to knee spit up.  oh, and all the way down one arm.  disgusting.  don't worry baby, they all loved you. spit all all.  you're too cute for it to matter & no one can get over your cheeks to notice.

this week i was on a mission to capture some faces that emmie makes when i'm burping her.  they are so funny & so her.  unfortunately when she sees my phone she quits making faces and just stares.  whomp whomp.  but this face is still awesome even if it's not the 'face' i was hoping she'd make.

and just for fun, emmie's sandals for next summer. they were $1.47 a pair and i can't wait til her tiny tootsies can fit in there!

hope all is well in your world & that you're not freezing in your neck of the woods.  it's awfully cold here & i am thankful multiple times a day that we have heat.  now off to snuggle back into bed until the bean gets up & then maybe i'll just snuggle her in here too.  love!