that is the question i get a lot these days. are you ready? are we ready? well i don't know if i can speak for benny - i'm not 100% sure what he's feeling - but i know for me, that question brings all kinds of mess to the surface. i feel completely ready to meet this sweet little miracle of a girl that has been growing in my belly for the last nine months. i can't wait to hold her and squeeze her. to see her dad take care of her & 'boop' her little button nose. i can't wait to sing her songs and rock her and read to her. i can't wait to tell her how much her creator loves her and is just crazy over her. i can't wait to give her all kinds of tiny baby kisses and cover her in hair bows. i can't wait to smell her little baby smell & give her baths. i can't wait to read to her out of her Jesus storybook bible. i can't wait to call her by her name and see her grow right before our eyes daily.
truth be told, i'm really scared. and unprepared. and overwhelmed. mentally, emotionally, intellectually, physically - not ready. i don't know very much, i haven't read very much, i haven't been around very many newborns for any significant amount of time at all. i haven't had a lot of time to really process my thoughts on becoming a mom and i haven't had a lot of time to organize our home. this half of me feels not ready. not ready at all. i know what people say, that it will come, we'll adjust, we'll make it. i know all that is true, we aren't the first people in history to have a little baby - but for whatever reason it doesn't give me peace. it doesn't make me 'ready'. i'm terrified of change and of failing. i'm scared of not doing a good job as a wife and mom, friend, daughter, minister of the gospel, etc. i'm already not very good at juggling it all, what if i only get worse!?
little babe, we're gonna make it. i think. stay cozy in there until the big day rolls around. your mom & pop cannot wait to be your parents [even if we're not so great at it]. you've blessed our family so much already. we love you dearly.