future family of four

Well, it's true. There is a little one joining our family in just a few short months. We were 'trying' for this little miracle but for some reason we're still a little shocked when you actually realize "HOLY MOLY we're having a baby!!" 

Ben & I could not be more excited. We're due February 12th, 2015 and I'm sure it will fly by. We saw the doctor very early in my pregnancy because at 8 weeks I was leaving for Young Life camp and knew that I'd be "outted" namely because I couldn't do hardly anything that camp entails (tubing, go carts, ropes course etc.). I didn't want to announce the little bean so soon but under the circumstances we at least wanted to know (from what we could tell), that all looked good with the babe. 

At 7.5 weeks had the ultrasound (above), one baby, all looked well, strong, fast heartbeat, looked like a tadpole. At that point our baby was the size of a lentil and today (15.5 wks) babe is the size of an apple. 

From weeks 5 to 13ish I was super duper nauseous. Sadly, I thought I was immune since I had no nausea with emmie - guess that's not true. Lots of people have suggested that maybe that means this one is a little fella but we've had lots of friends with babies of the same sex and felt really differently between the two so I'm not totally convinced.

Speaking of gender, Ben and I are in a bit of a disagreement about whether or not we should find out. It has never crossed my mind that I WOULDN'T want to find out for this babe. If we were to have a boy it seriously wouldn't even have one sleeper that's not covered in ruffles. Not to mention that I'm pretty sure I won't feel AS enthusiastic about getting his/her room together AFTER giving birth, wrangling a newborn and a two year old. I'm not against other people not finding out (well maybe I am) but anyway, I just don't know that it's for me. So one of us is going to have to budge. We'll see how that works out. 

I've also been more tired than any period of time I can remember in my life. Like at any moment I could sleep...driving, walking through target, I mean anywhere. "They" say that I should perk up in my second trimester but I'm here and still sleepy as ever. 

One fun aspect has been talking to Emmie about her little brother or sister that's on the way. It's lucky that we get 9 months to try and get there with her. She now talks to the baby, always points at me and says "baby," kisses my belly and gives it hugs. She also sometimes lifts up her own shirt and says "baby" and also sometimes kisses ben's belly (and then says "ew!") so she may be a little confused. It's a hard concept. She's going to be such a fun & sweet sister I just know it. That is one of things I'm most excited about - seeing them be friends.  

We have some fears about having two. I sometimes struggle just operating well with our one kiddo. I'm not great with house-keeping, cooking, budgeting, holding lots of things in my arms at one time & I lose my patience more than I should;  it makes you a little scared thinking about how you'll survive with another. But I know that God will give us what we need, when we need it and hopefully provide a ole heaping helping of grace over all of us. And maybe more arms?

That's Em wearing pajamas, fairy wings and caring for her perpetually naked baby. She seems like a reliable assistant, right? Also, her face - ha!

All kidding and fear aside, we feel incredibly blessed. We know that even getting to this point is a gift and we rejoice in that daily. It's so fun to dream about this little bean and what it will be like to grow our family. I know that it will involve some bickering and sleepless nights but much more than that I think of lots of giggles, story times, costume wearing, snuggling, room sharing, nature walks and talks about things that really matter (long before you have any idea what we're babbling about). 

Poppa wanted me to tell you that he loves you already and you're so small. He's gonna squeeze you and play catch with you.